迷惘

之前,我迷惘,在很多方面...
为了寻找一些定义而讨厌自己,希望人家讨厌我.
不料成功了(我以为很难),然后从那个角度看很多事情.
那样,我骗了不少人,很多人也以为我很怪...
抱歉,我当时很正常,只是我演技很好~


然后,我找到我要的答案,不迷惘了.
那时我能够感受到坚强真正的意义,懂得自爱了,不再讨厌自己.


可是最近,自从我再踏入正常人的世界,我又从另一个角度看东西...
才发现到,就算我很正常,但我还是不正常...


为什么?
因为我(从小受英文教育),在一个(从小受华文教育的)社会里是会和人家有所不同的.
其他人从小学到的,我不会,我小时候学到的,他们不会...
有时还会被当成笨蛋,很难受.
他们不是排斥,只是我不喜欢那样与人不同的感受.
这是我的校园生活...
不止,因为同样的原因,父母的要求也会自然地,不同...
他们可以自由/常常出门,可以常踏火车,他们可以选择读艺术/设计,...
等等,都是我没有的乐趣~


我也非常喜欢体育.
自小,我非常喜欢游泳,那时有参加竞赛班.
我很开心,因为认识到很多朋友.
我和他们相处得来,因为他们差不多和我一样,都有受过一点英文教育长大.
而且也很喜欢体育.
不象学校的人,一个两个都很讨厌体育.
所以我很难和他们和得来.
还有一个朋友,明明口头禅上说喜欢体育,却在体育节...(不说你都知道)


我喜欢啦啦队.
朋友们都不喜欢体育,没有人陪我参加.
我之前有参加,不过由于没有时间所以退出了...
我明年比较有时间,应该可以再参加~


现在我没有游泳了,也没有可以共同分享乐趣了...
我觉得自己活在一个没有人能够开导的世界...
因为大家都没有站在我的立场想,所以根本开导不了...


所以迷惘...
最近海还会不知道什么原因而无无端端哭出来...
怎么办好,难道又要再演戏?
不要,我演够了,隐瞒很辛苦...
我想要通过自己的实力,希望能够找到我要的答案...
现在就算叫自己笑一个都难...

2011 "Bao Bei" Camp (Baby camp)XD

OMG I really do love the Student Reporter family！Almost every activity is TOTALLY interesting (although the preparations are hard to go through).

8-10th of June 2011, we held a "baby camp", for primary school kids, teaching them about money management.
And we were there 1 day before the actual camp to get prepared.

The day before was fun too, (Because my group=publishing group is supposed to be busy before the camp and not so busy during the camp), so we ended up helping other groups.
With that, we learned a lot of things, and experienced the hardship of other works~

On the 1st day we were positioned at the registeration counter, a busy place it is!
I saw a kid wearing an Angry Bird T-shirt. XD

During the camp, we were around helping other group in need, if not, then we are station manager (for station games), if not, then we are taking our breaks.
My hp has not much battery, but thank god there are other Student Reporters who took photos of us. ^^

Me @ the registeration counter~

Also the registeration area~

The Big Picture! (We=commitees are so small @ the back T.T)

The vice chairman of the comitee, also the head of the camp.
Our theme is Fairy Tale Money Management,
so she is playing the role of Peter Pan in the camp. XD

Ning Xuan from my group (publishing group), was borrowed to the guiding group, which member are supposed to guide the campers throughout the camp and is very very short-handed.



Yuan Ping (up) from the tools preparation group

                  &

Su En (down) from my publishing group

Jue Yuan from the site-research group which was same group as me in the Student Reporter training camp last year~

(Left) Li Mei from the stage designing group

(Right) Jie Ning from the photography and reporting group

(Left)Mo Xian from the photography and reporting group

(Right) Umm.... sorry I still haven't recognized her yet.

Cai Ni from the stage designing groupNing Xuan from the publishing group

Both was borrowed to become guides~

<Xiao Xing Xing (Little Star)> editor
Si Yan

Who lead the little kids craft-making!

Umm... A poem in chinese wrote by the kids. (It's funny only if you know what it means)

A kid's passion for Angry Bird~ (These are the back of their namecards XD)

The booklet of the camp by us, the publishing group!

We collected the topics and arranged each page, which isn't easy at all!

But the publisher published every copy with a high contrast and destroyed the perfectness of the original one!

We (the publishing group) were not happy with that

But our senior said that it was a little better than he expected. Well, although it's only a little, but since he's pleased, I wasn't feeling so mad anymore.

The members of the publishing group (except the one that was borrowed to be a guide) and the four sitting in front, the two @ the back are just get their face in the shot.
(From left: Zhen Hao, Wendy Tan, Su En, Me)

There a station game named Treasure Hunt.

(Treasure=Note in a paper)

So I hid one in....

(That's not my head)

Treasure Hunt -- My Station!

Only I'm the station manager, the others are just helpers + passerbies

(Zhen Hao what are you doing on my head!?!?!)

Below are pics of a monopoly-like game, the campers are playing as normal citizens applying for jobs in order to make money, and we, the comitee members, are shop owners or customers

Ning Xuan, a shop owner!

A massage centre, the kids give us service and are paid~

So, we comitee members act as customers and have all the fun!

Me and Su En are waiting for McDonald.

(The kids are part-timers serving us food)

Those @ the massage centre do not intend to leave at all!

Note: I'm cute, adopt me, 1 bean

The kids have to give him a bean to adopt him, quite a stupid idea XD (1 bean= RM1)

The last day, pics of our (the publishing group) beloved senior

Funny huh?

Other pics

Many of us were very happy these few days.

In conclusion, although the preparations were hard times, getting scolded, rushing work, having exams,but we did enjoy ourselves during camp, and we even got good feedback, so everything is worth it.

Although so, but it is still not good enough for us!

This is us, the Student Reporters of Sin Chew Daily, always wanting to improve!

Comming up is 'Cheng Zhang (Growing Up)' Camp, and it's going to divide us comitees into two groups.

The members of my publoshing group come from different areas of the state so it's possible that we will not be together, and it's a very sad thing.

I will miss the very lively and cute Ning Xuan, the creative Wendy Tan, my Angry Bird provider Zhen Hao (although I don't get to play much everytime), and she who's helped me a lot and always joking along with me, Su en.

To hold a camp together, I think I'll just have to wait of the Training Camp for the next generation of Student Reporters, which is in December!

To train the next generation is not easy,we need to scold them a whole lot, no matter right or wrong, until they understand the real meaning of being a student reporter.

But I still can't wait for it.

Because,...

我♥学记

I ♥ Student Reporter

2011年宝贝营

最爱学记了！每次大活动都那么好玩（虽然筹备得很辛苦）。

2011年6月8-10日我们办宝贝营，给小学生参加的，教他们理财~
我们在营的前一天就在那里准备了哦!

前一天很好玩，因为我们出版组的是在营前忙，营中闲，比较得空，所以到处帮忙别的组~
帮忙当中，学到很多东西，也体会到不同的辛苦，不同的乐趣。

第一天我们在报到处，哇，忙到~
还看到有小孩子穿“angry bird”的衣服！

营中我们是到处帮，不然就是做跑站游戏的站长，不然就是休息。
我手机没电，还好有其他学记拍了照片~

我在报到处~

也是报道处

大合照！（我们工委很小呢，在后面~T。T）

我们的筹委会副主席，也是营里的营长。

由于我们的营的主体是童话理财，所以

她是负责扮演“彼得潘”。

我组的宁绚~由于辅导员不够，所以被借过去了，看来很多小宝贝也蛮喜欢她的~



道具组的苑萍（上）

                  和

出版组（我的组）的素恩（下）！

培训营时我同组的捷彦，营里的场地组

舞台设计的莉媚（左）

摄影报道的洁宁（右）

摄影报道组的谟先（左）

右边的我还不认识（抱歉）

舞台设计组的彩妮出版组的宁绚

都是被借去当辅导员！XD

《小星星》编辑室的斯燕姐姐

教小宝贝们做手工——

零钱小宝盒！

小宝贝们的回文诗，很有趣吧？

不懂是哪个小朋友那么喜欢angry bird！

出版组的成品——小册子！

我们那么辛苦收集+排好资料

那可恶的出版商，把contrast弄得那么高，整个内容不美了啊！

我蛮不爽的

但听学哥说比预料中的好一点，虽然只有一点，不过听了之后我便没有那么不爽了^^

我们前面四个是出版之星！后面是抢镜的~=。=

（左起：振豪、晓薇、素恩、我）

有个自由跑站游戏叫寻宝。

（宝=纸条）

我就把那个宝放在……

（不是我来的）

寻宝游戏——我的站！

只有我是站长，其他是帮忙+路过的！

（振豪你在做什么！？！？！）

这个游戏是穷光蛋，要小宝贝们到处打工赚钱

其中一个站长——宁绚~

这里是按摩院，小宝贝们替我们按摩，我们给他工钱~

因为爽，所以很多工委便……

我和素恩在等McDonald

（营员在打工，我们买食物）

在按摩院的一直离不开！

这个是不知道谁的无聊！（1粒豆=RM1）

离开营的那一天，出版组珍惜的学哥

看了很无言吧？

其他照片

很多同届和学哥学姐都很开心！

总的来说，虽然筹备过程很辛苦、时常被催、被骂、有考试，不过我们在营中都很享受，而且得到了很不错的反应，所以是很值得的。

虽然反应不错，不过对我们来说是不够的！

学记就是一直求上进的！

接着的是成长营，听说会被分为两区。

由于我的出版组来自不同区，所以会很舍不得。

尤其是那活泼的宁绚、有艺术天分的晓薇、时常借我玩Angry Bird的振豪（但最后还是没玩到多少）、还有再筹备过程帮了我不少、时常和我一起当废才的素恩。

要再一起办营，就要等培训营了。

培训下一届不容易，要骂人。没有错也是要骂，骂到他们了解学记得意思为止。

但是还是很期待。

因为，……

我♥学记