Me, myself and some more self reflection

I wish that I could turn back time
'cause now all the guilt is mine
can't live without
the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
we can't forget love and pride
because of that, its killing me inside 

--Komm, süsser Tod (German: Come, Sweet Death)

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Same topic as my previous post. Different stories....
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So there was this Midsummer Masquerade which my college hold annually, and it was held around two weeks ago.

And I was part of the dance club that performed. Well, there are many who said we danced very cool and stuff, but as usual, the performers won't see things from a spectators perspective.

And there is stories behind our performances, training and all...

The girls group and the guys group leader really got mad for some reason. And there are members who say that its because they chase for professionality. Well, I don't know about the guys, but to speak the truth, I don't think our dance can come out professionally when our practices aren't event well managed.

Information weren't passed on to members efficiently, and therefore leaving some members in blurry state, and the members were getting mad at for no reason. Our practices, no serious warm ups, not consistent countings... and many more were so different from my previous trainings, and I don't think we can get anywhere near professional with this state.

Whats worse, punctuality and preparation before the performance was not well managed too.

I know I'm not in any state to be complaining as I didn't take any action to change the current state we're in. Yeah, I was pissed off really early because what I said wasn't taken into account and the song and dances were kept on changing and they didn't think of self choreography but to dance from internet.

So I was damn quiet.

And yeah if I did get mad in front of them, things won't go as nice....  :/

Anyway we got 3rd, well, wasn't so happy, things could have got better. Plus its our former president's last dance with us....

Geez....

*Seriously this is not the first time where I get pissed off seeing people treat professionality so lightly
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My GPA..... aslo damn low.... :(

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To a certain you who probably won't be reading this.

I'm sorry I've let you down again. You expected something from me, and again I was afraid to express myself. Especially when I look into your eyes, beautiful they are, and I was lost in the midst of mixed feelings again.

You were trying to get closer to me, but due to recent depressions (I know I shouldn't put the blame on such ridiculous stuff), I was quite cold to you.

Now I wish that I could see you again, and one day, I want to look into your eyes and tell you what I want to say to you, and what you will want to hear from me.

Staying strong, with lots of love. :)